Way before 2017 begun, I was told by a BaZi expert friend that the year was going to “flip [me] over.”
Knowing that life was going to serve me this wicked curveball, I practiced my backhand smash for this helluva ‘flip’ that I thought I had figured out. I expected to put up a fight and to muscle thru the nasty. He ended the consultation with “Take things slowly,” which if you know me, is tricky.
Everything was going all right, until quite suddenly, it just didn’t.
September was a blood sport; The 'til-death-do-us-part kind, but death is no parenthesis. Nothing brought me joy and I feared it'd last. After all the tears had run dry, there was nothing left to do but to start all over again. This is quite a sombre opener, but it gets better, I swear.
Year-end has traditionally been a busy time for me. In all the recent years, year-ends filled itself with it’s own brand of festive rush before every one (and I mean, every one) goes on holidays and Christmas gatherings until the last drop of New Year’s celebration goes.
I had a head start on the whole year-end this time round and I dedicated it to myself. Took time off work. Spent 2017Q4 taking care of myself, being with people I love, and doing things that bring me joy. I staunchly rejected any and every thing that was not any of those three items.
Sounds easy, right? No, it wasn’t!
It wasn’t easy to be all me me me. Even for me.
It's not easy to say no. And it's even more difficult to say no to the closest people, as they obviously come from the purest of intentions despite not being able to see my POV. So the first month was keeping to what I'd decided to Take vs Toss against (some) odds.
So what's new?
I got my third tatt. I am finally getting my full B license. I read a lot. I went Marie Kondo with my possessions. I found love and went on adventures!
I did a lot more than what's listed above but I didn't bother keeping count. One thing at a time though; I wanted to properly relish in it all. The only thing I needed to keep me going was knowing that life is happening for me and my wanting to be present to appreciate both sides of the same coin.
That's life, innit? How do we sometimes forget that?
There will be whispers of what's right coming from all directions! Many have told me that what I did for myself wasn't practical/efficient and tried to change my mind/tell me what they think is the best for me. But whose life is this anyway, hey? As rude as a bear – kuan lei lan si ah?
To those that really do care about me and have differing/worrying opinions or if you find yourself in a similar scenario, the point is this: There needs to be trust in the person you care about to be doing the right thing for themselves. It needs to come from within, not others.
So the sovereignty's all mine. I wake up every day for my pursuits + to catch the first light and last light with those that matter. That's really 'bout it.